Artsy Fartsy

Typically llamas are not associated with high fashion or the fine arts (what a shame!), but maybe we can change that. Today we bring you an untitled work featuring our furry friends. While we can't track down the original artist, we bring it to you through oculoid's daily dosage.

Let's call it "llama and evil llama."

How does it make you FEEL? What are these llamas thinking about? Do they represent the angel and devil on everyone's shoulders or our moral corruption as a society? Why do handlebar mustaches look evil?

Ponder it for a moment, it's Friday after all.

Team Jacob or Team Alpaca?

While I haven't had the good fortune to see or ready any of the Twilight Saga, I am alive enough to know people are crazy about it, particularly the hotties. I also know about all the drama of Team Jacob v. Team Edward. (Take the quiz here.)

But have you heard of Team Alpaca? Well, you have now!

Brought to you by an always amusing site, totallylookslike.com, where all your doppelganger wishes come true.

Llama Shootings

Whenever I read headlines that start with something like that, aka "Llama shootings puzzle T.F. Co. family," I always get mental image first of llamas on a rampage somewhere shooting the place up. Sadly, perhaps, this was not the case for one llama owner who has had two llamas shot dead in their pens in the last few weeks.

The woman took time to pose for a slightly creepy shot for the local news with the llama lying dead in the background. I'm not sure how I feel about this other than I hope they eventually buried them. Not sure if that's a priority though, considering this quote: "We didn’t think anything of it with the first one, but with the second one, we have no idea who would do this...When the first llama was found, 'We didn’t bury him,' Robinson explained, 'and the second one, he kind of felt lost and he’d kind of lay by his buddy during the day. He was laying a few feet from him when we found him.'”

There's a lot wrong with that, but seriously, you didn't think anything of it after someone shot your first llama? Here the picture that accompanied the article:

I know the newspaper industry is in the toilet, but is anyone really going to click that box, "Buy this photo?!" I hope not.

Llama-related Vocabulary lesson

From an article in the WSJ(!), about a retired billionaire who invests in alpacas:

"As Mr. Steinhardt leaned in toward a barn stall, a white llama named Angel poked his head out curiously. 'Hello! Hello! How do you do?' Mr. Steinhardt cooed softly as Angel snuffled against his face."

Define "snuffled:"
a) sneezed
b) spit a mouthful of 3 day-old digested grass that smells nothing like the Gap scent (at all)
c) to breathe noisily, as through a blocked nose.

Good job if you answered c. Here's a link to the article as a "reward." Get at it before Murdoch makes you pay.

"Snuffleupagus" makes so much sense now. WHY HAVE I BEEN SAYING SNUFFLEUFAGUS THIS WHOLE TIME?!

Happy Bday Keelay!

Half of llamasutra is celebrating his birthday today. We are a combined age of 50, so wise! An old photo from our DC days, how innocent we were in youth, yet how wise to steal a llama pinata from a party we crashed somewhere in northwest DC. Those were the days. Happy birthday baby!

Alpaca Farmstay FTW!

If you thought that having a llama-themed wedding was the be-all end-all to living the (llama) dream, well you're wrong. We're not entirely sure what Simon & Laura had planned for the honeymoon post-llama wedding festivities, but if they weren't immediately booked on the first flight to New Zealand to experience a week-long Alpaca Farmstay, well then their follow-through could use some work.

That's right, for about $200/night, you can experience life on a real-life alpaca farm in New Zealand, waking up to the pitter-patter of a thousand baby alpacas prancing through the field (as seen in the banner ad):

According to the website, "Silverstream Alpaca Stud has available two luxurious self contained farmstay units that sleep up to four persons per unit. Each unit has two bedrooms, a bathroom, lounge, modern kitchen and a carport. The kitchen has a hobbs, microwave, dishwasher, fridge and the normal crockery, cutlery and cooking utensils."
I'm not entirely sure what a hobbs is (but it sounds nice), but this seems to be a real value. Ever-aware that their target market might be full of US alpaca-hobbyists, reeling in dough from their successful alpaca get rich quick schemes, the website adds, "There is even a nearby McDonalds."

Phew, sign me up.

Next April 15, get that alpaca fiber tax deduction

It's April 15th, which means we're all focused on $ billz and paying our taxes so Uncle Sam can keep buying those star spangled top hats and war heads. So since we're all thinking about our finances, why not ponder profiting from alpacas (sorry llamas).

Thank you big brother (I mean gmail) for providing the useful link to sign up for a FREE newsletter about profiting with alpacas, complete with scores of real life testimonials!

You can learn SO MANY THINGS from this newsletter. Highlights include:
-How to separate fact from fiction
-How to take advantage of the tax benefits
-How to keep alpacas HAPPY
-How people create business plans for alpacas (wait, is the alpaca running the show here?)
-And of course, MUCH MUCH MORE

PS- according to Julie Roy, whose title is "Alpaca Breeder and Business Coach" (well they go together like peanut butter and jelly), "If you're pretty darn sure that you know everything there is to know about alpacas then there's no reason for you to sign up. But for the 99% of us who are enthralled by these amazing animals AND the amazing business opportunity which raising them can bring, don't you really owe it yourself to join" her free newsletter? In other words, you're wasting time and ruining your life by not allowing more alpaca-themed spam into your inbox.

Llama-related quote of the day

"PS:  I burned llama fat this weekend!!! I can't wait to tell you the context =)"

This comes from an email from a fellow AU alum. Since starting this blog, I feel like this happens more and more. Definitely a lot of random llama stuff coming my way, and we (Caitlin & I) couldn't be happier.

Updates to come on Holly and her llama fat.

To keep this somewhat educational, here is a page with all sorts of llamas found on wine and beer bottles. Including my personal favorite, Big Fat Llama, shown here:

 

That, my friends, is not a big fat llama.

If you have something llama-related that needs to be featured here, please contact us at llamasutra@gmail.com.

This Llama is a Therapist, and you?

It's a rare feat, and only 13 other llamas are technically registered as therapists nationwide (ok, technically called Certified Therapy Llamas, by the Delta Society).

In another heartwarming Oregon llama story, this therapist, aka Rojo, visits classrooms of children who have various ailments, and helps them build confidence through interactions with the docile creature (don't let the spicy name fool you).

"They slipped a floral garland around his neck, fastened an oversized cottontail on his rump and, yes, attached bunny ears to his halter.

'[We do] not encourage decorating the therapy animals,' Lori Gregory said, with an apologetic nod toward Rojo. 'But we find the kids are less afraid to approach him this way.'"

I'm not sure what's included in "regular" therapy sessions, but I'm guessing that you have to pay extra for that in the real world.

And for the money quote: "A shy, serious boy, who averted his gaze when spoken to and made nervous little motions with his hands when not spoken to, broke out in a smile while circling the yard with leash in hand. The smile faded as he passed the leash. Another boy commented on the warmth of Rojo's body and then said: 'You make my heart warm.'"

Yes folks, llamas are special, especially when you get the rare one who really doesn't mind being man- or panhandled by children, the disabled, or senior citizens. 

Anyways, I realized maybe that's why I turned out so well-adjusted (ha ha)...thousands of hours of free llama therapy that I didn't even realize I was getting growing up. Talk about a money-saver.

Full, heartwarming article here.
 Also, confidential to the reporter: Dogs use "leashes," llamas use "leads."

via brother Ryan

Llove is in the air

It's wedding season! (I only know that because some girl told me, but for her it's always wedding season, so I'm actually not that sure.) Weddings are big business and many llovebirds often opt for a cute theme that is special to them, be it beach, trekkie, furry or anime, if the bridezilla wants it, she can probably have it (for a fee, of course). Some socially conscious couples go green, and some even go on a farm.

Let's give it up for Mr. and Mrs. Simon and Laura for taking it to a whole new level with an entirely llama-themed wedding on a llama farm! Check out their flickr album which proudly shows their llama cookies, llama lollies and real life llamas!

Who wouldn't want their first photo as man and wife with some llamas? In these crazy times, it's a little bit of sanity.

Apparently a llama wedding isn't as rare as you'd think. I don't mean llamas getting married, I mean llamas being the main event at a bipeds' wedding. Shelley and Marco also took their nuptials to a whole new level by having some loving llamas in attendance, dressed in their Sunday best. Llove is in the air.

So if you're fianced, consider these pros and cons before deciding on a llama-themed wedding.

Pros:
Quirky, cuteness factor, free transportation for guests/supplies, and they can be milked after to make some wedding cheese and sheared for their fur to make your baby's christening gown.

Cons:
Llamas, unlike inanimate objects, poop, and the bride wears white = accident waiting to happen. Upstaging the newlyweds.

The beach wedding was so 2008. So next year, go for the llamas.