In these uncertain times, the soft hum of a llama brings comfort to weary souls. What other animal can give you a sweater for winter, a ride to the mailbox, and protect your flock of sheep while you are on the couch in a Snuggie watching soaps? (Llamasutra reserves all rights to develop a llama print Snuggie, or alpaca wool version.)
If your life is missing any of these attributes that only a real life llama* can provide, check back to llamasutra to get the next best thing.
*or alpaca.
We would just like to give a shout-out to American Express OPEN for jumping on the llama/alpaca bandwagon and featuring alpacas in their newest commercial. AMEX is already llamasutra's preferred plastic (thanks for all those free flights on JetBlue!) and this earns them another star in their crown.
The ad opens with the line:
"Why is this sharp-dressed lawyer standing in a pen with alpacas?"
I don't know, but you've sure got my attention. (You'll have to tune in yourself for the answer.)
Kudos to the AMEX ad team for another clever, culturally-relevant commercial. I think it's safe to say that llamas/alpacas are 2010's trend animals. Let's check with the hipsters to be totally sure.
BTW- Happy June! Why not celebrate the warm weather and shear a llama?
STANLEY STEEMER! Their efforts to educate the public in the differences between alapcas and llamas while selling their carpet cleaning products and services should certainly not go unmentioned here at everyday llamallove. Congratulations!
Sometimes on a rainy spring day you just need a little visual pick me up from llamas dressed in various pop culture references. Thanks to a fellow llama llover for the tip!
Well the local news is at it again, this time trying to convince readers that a llama just happened to wander into a bible reading marathon. Granted, a llama visit may seem like a gift from god, and a visit during a bible reading may indeed portend the second coming, but this article has more sass than substance and begins to tread in "sounds fishy" territory.
"Kemper Meadows stood on the steps of the Bleckley County Courthouse and read aloud from the Old Testament in her King James Bible.
She was somewhere in the first chapter of the Book of Joshua late Saturday afternoon.
And that’s when a llama named Tootsie showed up."
The article continues with so many choice quotes that somewhere in Alabama even Tootsie is humming along in approbation.
"Kemper should not have been too surprised to get a visit from Tootsie, who is somewhat of a 'llama about town' and a regular participant in parades and other festivities.
Tootsie doesn’t profess to be either Baptist or Methodist. She is strictly a nondenominational animal.
She could, however, be the Dalai Llama."
It's nice to see that the "llama about town" wasn't too busy to show up for the bible marathon, which lasts a whole 5,000 minutes every May in Cochran. Right on the courthouse steps! That's legal apparently!
"There are probably those who wonder how it is allowed to happen. After all, some courthouses don’t allow display of the 10 Commandments.
Yet, in downtown Cochran, folks fly the Christian flag and read scripture from the courthouse porch for more than 5,000 minutes every May.
Last year, a Cochran man who works at Robins Air Force Base told one of his co-workers about his plans to read the Bible on the courthouse steps.
'You can’t do that. It’s against the law,' the co-worker said.
Said the man: 'Not in Cochran, it isn’t.'"
Well there you have it. Folks are straight up flying that Christian flag high above Cochran and all the blessed llamas wandering around it.
My favorite part of the article shows the spirit and creativity in small-town America, where things are legal just because you say they are. "The Dairy Queen at the edge of town has a sign announcing that the marathon runs through May 51. (An employee used the numbers 5 and 1 to make 6, so you have to do the imaginative addition yourself.)"
When they're not busy therapizing our at-risk youth and seniors, or saving the day in the community nativity scene (taking the place of the harder to come by camel) at Christmas time, llamas and alpacas are busy straight growing their hair out in the case of a major oil spill.
Yes, this year BP has one more tool in it's (rather pathetic looking) toolbox to clean up the spill in the gulf. Apparently llama fur is super absorbent and can be used in the booms that are placed in the water to contain the slick. The outlook is grim due to the seemingly unstoppable underwater oil volcano, but at least we can all smile at the llamas' ridiculous new look post-shearing.
Typically llamas are not associated with high fashion or the fine arts (what a shame!), but maybe we can change that. Today we bring you an untitled work featuring our furry friends. While we can't track down the original artist, we bring it to you through oculoid's daily dosage.
Let's call it "llama and evil llama."
How does it make you FEEL? What are these llamas thinking about? Do they represent the angel and devil on everyone's shoulders or our moral corruption as a society? Why do handlebar mustaches look evil?
While I haven't had the good fortune to see or ready any of the Twilight Saga, I am alive enough to know people are crazy about it, particularly the hotties. I also know about all the drama of Team Jacob v. Team Edward. (Take the quiz here.)
But have you heard of Team Alpaca? Well, you have now!
Brought to you by an always amusing site, totallylookslike.com, where all your doppelganger wishes come true.
Whenever I read headlines that start with something like that, aka "Llama shootings puzzle T.F. Co. family," I always get mental image first of llamas on a rampage somewhere shooting the place up. Sadly, perhaps, this was not the case for one llama owner who has had two llamas shot dead in their pens in the last few weeks.
The woman took time to pose for a slightly creepy shot for the local news with the llama lying dead in the background. I'm not sure how I feel about this other than I hope they eventually buried them. Not sure if that's a priority though, considering this quote: "We didn’t think anything of it with the first one, but with the second one, we have no idea who would do this...When the first llama was found, 'We didn’t bury him,' Robinson explained, 'and the second one, he kind of felt lost and he’d kind of lay by his buddy during the day. He was laying a few feet from him when we found him.'”
There's a lot wrong with that, but seriously, you didn't think anything of it after someone shot your first llama? Here the picture that accompanied the article:
I know the newspaper industry is in the toilet, but is anyone really going to click that box, "Buy this photo?!" I hope not.
From an article in the WSJ(!), about a retired billionaire who invests in alpacas:
"As Mr. Steinhardt leaned in toward a barn stall, a white llama named Angel poked his head out curiously. 'Hello! Hello! How do you do?' Mr. Steinhardt cooed softly as Angel snuffled against his face."
Define "snuffled:"
a) sneezed
b) spit a mouthful of 3 day-old digested grass that smells nothing like the Gap scent (at all)
c) to breathe noisily, as through a blocked nose.
Good job if you answered c. Here's a link to the article as a "reward." Get at it before Murdoch makes you pay.
"Snuffleupagus" makes so much sense now. WHY HAVE I BEEN SAYING SNUFFLEUFAGUS THIS WHOLE TIME?!
Half of llamasutra is celebrating his birthday today. We are a combined age of 50, so wise! An old photo from our DC days, how innocent we were in youth, yet how wise to steal a llama pinata from a party we crashed somewhere in northwest DC. Those were the days. Happy birthday baby!
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